How I Define Self-Care

I used to picture self-care in a very specific and stereotypical way; a bubble bath, a face mask and glass of wine is usually what springs to mind. Whilst this is great, self-care is so much more than just a pamper evening every once in a while.

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It’s a phrase we hear so much of online nowadays. Self-care has become a sort of buzzword that we use when we simply just need to take a moment to ourselves. Modern life is so incredibly busy and we are all committed to so much and being pulled in so many different directions, that I believe it is becoming increasingly important for us to remember to look out for number one.

So, what is self-care?

Self-care cannot really be defined, because it varies so much from one individual to another. Self-care is an outfit that looks different on everyone. Sometimes it’s snuggling in bed and watching Disney, other times its reading that book you bought three months ago but never got round to. An introvert’s idea of self-care might be a night in, while an extrovert may feel comforted by a trip out to the cinema or a meal.

The best way I can define self-care is an activity that never feels like a ‘should’ – it is something you enjoy, something you want to do and it doesn’t require a box on your to-do list. It is basically an activity that nourishes you in a physical, emotional or spiritual way.

However we choose to define it, self-care is something we all need. In theory, it seems easy – however, feeling like you deserve to spend some time on yourself can sometimes be harder than you think. We are often so concerned with the self-care of others that we forget about looking after ourselves.

But, as someone that frequently struggles with finding time for self-care, I thought I would share some of my ideas with you to help get you started:

Declutter your space

They say a tidy house makes a tidy mind, and I do find it works! Having a clean and organised space can be one of the most satisfying things you can do for yourself (and you always find some hidden treasures along the way!) I like to use this time to create a nice atmosphere around me by lighting some candles, that’s how I really treat myself!

Get creative

Whether it’s an adult colouring book or baking an indulgent recipe, a good creative project can help you work out some of that stress in a really therapeutic way. It’s also good to focus your mind on something totally different to your job or school life.

Find your green fingers

A lesser commitment than a pet, but still something that you can look after and focus some attention on. A plant will make your space feel fresh and brings a little bit of nature indoors for those lazy bed days. Plus, who doesn’t love cacti?

Spend quality time with those around you

It can be as easy as choosing to stay in one evening, or suggesting a coffee with a friend, but I find that putting myself in good company is a sure fire way to lift my mood and make me feel relaxed. I find for me that spending time with friends really centres me and helps me to re-focus on what is important to me.

Get cosy

Bed is a real haven for me, and there is nothing I love more than getting tucked up in my duvet and putting a film on. There’s something that feels really calming and secure about being snuggled up in my own space, and it’s obviously very relaxing too!

I hope these pointers help you to remember that self-care can be whatever you want it to be. These are just a few things that work for me, but you may find your own list is wildly different. Please remember, it’s so important to take care of yourselves and do let me know your best self-care tips in the comments!

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  1. Sarah says

    Having a clean house is so therapeutic for me. I find that when my place is clean, all of the craziness around me is less likely to irritate me!

  2. Lily jayne says

    Great tips hun. Sometimes I get so involved with work and stuff I always forget to just disconnect and have some me time

  3. Lauren Brooker says

    I love this post! Self care is so important. Finding the activities that you find enjoyable and that bring you pleasure is a great way to boost your wellbeing even through the darkest of times or during the more avergage kind of days x

    Lauren |

  4. Hayley says

    Agree with all of this. I find decluttering so therapeutic, in the same way that experts say people who make their bed in the morning are happier x

  5. Nancy says

    Self-care is so important – this is how you keep yourself going longer. I love decluttering, it makes my life feel lighter?!?! Oooh, a plant does a lot of good, especially the ones that cleanse the air around you. YESSS on getting cozy!

    Nancy ♥

  6. Nam says

    Great tips! I like the idea of having a plant in the house. Not only does it make your desk better, but caring for is therapeutic.

  7. Girly Gabble says

    This post is so helpful! I’m all about self care too and encouraging people to take part in it 😊 getting cosy and decluttering are the things that help me most! Xo

  8. Belle says

    I love using adult colouring books! They just help you forget the world for a bit! I love this post, definitely going to get some plants I think

  9. Seeking Wonderful says

    I love late mornings in bed, when I just lay there and don’t have any plans. And also when we decide to go on a trip and I spend hours searching for things to see and do. A glass of wine or gin tonic when watching a movie in the evening. Long baths. Taking time for yourself to do something that just feels good is so important.

  10. pixieskies says

    I needed this post, thank you so much for writing it! I often struggle with the traditional self-care things like having an internet-free night or watching a film because I find loneliness can be a big trigger for me, so validation that hanging out with people is still self-care is always needed. Also tidying is such a great form of self-care, nothing better than that accomplished clean feeling.


  11. Kim says

    My favourite types of self care and relaxing baths and adult colouring books. I do find it helps when I declutter around the house, it’s theraputic and it feels like a huge weights been lifted after I’ve finished.

  12. Batmom85 says

    Great post! I really love that you gave so many definitions of what self care can be and the fact that it’s changing. I really enjoyed this post. You’re a really great writer. Great content.

  13. Nina says

    A good declutter always help me to feel so much better. I love curling up with a book! Great post. Thank you 💖

  14. Lia says

    “It is basically an activity that nourishes you in a physical, emotional or spiritual way.“ I like what you said there because I never really used to take self care seriously or even understood it! I think I should blog about this too 🤔 it’s such a big deal and can be easily overlooked! But thank you for these suggestions I will be trying them out too!

  15. chartrends says

    Great post. I agree self care is different for everyone, but most people do not consciously think about properly caring for themselves enough.

  16. Bexa says

    Completely agree that self-care is different for everyone. Well said. I also find that I enjoy different things depending on my mood, sometimes I like a bubble bath, other times it’s playing my guitar and sometimes it’s simply a nap. Decluttering is so therapeutic and it’s always so relaxing once it’s done. Fab suggestions Abi, thank you for sharing <3 xx

    Bexa |

  17. Ellie says

    Oh I loved this post, you are so right, self care should not be something that you “should” do but “want” to do! Self care is not ticking off your to do list, it is time for you, doing something you love! Great post xx

  18. hannahthemaddog says

    Awesome post! I’m a pretty cluttered person but I finally organized my makeup desk (which gets messy fast) and dry cleaned my special clothes. It feels really good! I also love cuddling with my husband before the night winds down as well.

    Hannah the Mad Dog

  19. Marble Sunburst says

    Love this post! There seems to be an expectation of a grand elaborate self care routine but like you say it’s different for everyone so the act itself shouldn’t have pressure to be a certain way either. It can be different each time too if there’s something you’ve been wanting to do for a while that you haven’t done yet. Great post! Xx

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